well, that was a waste

I just spent the last two and a half hours at a church budget shortfall meeting that left me more frustrated than when I arrived. Admittedly, I have been hurt by the actions of the church in the past year and have contemplated leaving, but not knowing where to go, and not wanting to hold the whole church responsible for the actions of a few, I persevered. But tonight, I am not exactly sure why. Again, nobody wants to hear what I have to say, all they do is look to me to design a pledge envelope for them. I made the suggestion that we leverage the history of the church, celebrate the 400 year anniversary of Scrooby, and appeal to a wide range of people to create interest and bring more money into the church, never mind the town...and someone follows up with "lets make the budget shortfall up by deciding right now to pledge more money!" excuse me? Was I speaking? Being a current member of the Membership and Evangelism Committee, I noted that for the past two years there has been $0 in our budget. Isn't making more attached to getting more people to join the church? I kept saying to myself, and out loud a few times, we need to look outside of the church. churchmarketingsucks.com I kept saying to Doug and to John. I guess I can conclude from this that they do not want me to open my mouth, just design stuff. Which leaves me again in an uncomfortable, and crappy place, which feel eerily the same as last years' feelings.

And maybe I just don't get it. Maybe there is no room in church life for, as they called it tonight, "advertising". Maybe I am just wasting my energies. Maybe I just need to go to bed. good night.